Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Funny Thanksgiving Sayings That Tickle The Funny Bone

Thanksgiving can be a stressful time for many. Reading a few funny Thanksgiving quotes can help to lighten that burden.

Although this holiday is about showing gratitude and giving thanks for all that you have, it's also a time for family gatherings, catching up with one another and much laughter. So, share a little bit of lighthearted humour with family and friends with these funny Thanksgiving sayings.

Have a Laugh With These Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

"My whole problem is that all of my favorite things at Thanksgiving are the starches, and everyone is trying to go low-carb this year, even a green vegetable has carbs in it."

"The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up."

~Ted Allen

"On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment - halftime."

~Anonymous

"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day."

~Irv Kupcinet

"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?"

"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."

~Erma Bombeck

"Thankful for elastic waistbands!"

~Anonymous

"Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving."

~Mike Connolly

"Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude."

~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts."

~Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often."

~Johnny Carson

"Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for - annually, not oftener - if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man's side, consequently on the Lord's side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments."

~Mark Twain

More Thanksgiving Pages That You May Like...

• Funny Thanksgiving Poems
• Humorous Thanksgiving Blessings
• Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
• Heartwarming Thanksgiving Sayings
• Short Thanksgiving Verses
• Thanksgiving Day Quotes
• Thanksgiving Poetry
• Thanksgiving Day Poems To Share
• Thanksgiving Day Prayers
• Thanksgiving Poem by Edgar Guest

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