Funny Thanksgiving Poems
Add a little humor to the holiday with funny Thanksgiving poems. It's a great way to reduce the stress that many people feel during this time... especially if you're the one in charge of the Thanksgiving dinner and all it's related preparations.
Have you ever wondered - what does a turkey really think about as Thanksgiving approaches - and how hard could it be to carve a cooked bird?
Have a read through these humorous poems about Thanksgiving and find out!
Funny Thanksgiving Poems
If you were a turkey, what would you be thinking of as Thanksgiving draws near?
A Turkey Speaks
by Author Unknown
I have never understood
why anyone would
roast the turkey
and shuck the clams
and crisp the croutons
and shell the peas
and candy the sweets
and compote the cranberries
and bake the pies
and clear the table
and wash the dishes
and fall into bed
when they could sit back
and enjoy a hamburger.
It used to be, at one time, that turkey's weren't the main-stay of a Thanksgiving dinner. More often it would be a duck. The following is one of those funny Thanksgiving poems that feature this tasty bird... and emphasizes the lack of carving skills of the father.
When Father Carves the Duck
by Ernest Vincent Wright
We all look on with anxious eyes
When father carves the duck,
And mother almost always sighs
When father carves the duck;
Then all of us prepare to rise,
And hold our bibs before our eyes,
And be prepared for some surprise,
When father carves the duck.
He braces up and grabs a fork
Whene'er he carves a duck,
And won't allow a soul to talk
Until he's carved the duck.
The fork is jabbed into the sides,
Across the breast the knife he slides,
While every careful person hides
From flying chips of duck.
The platter's always sure to slip
When father carves a duck,
And how it makes the dishes skip!
Potatoes fly amuck!
The squash and cabbage leap in space,
We get some gravy in our face,
And father mutters a Hindoo grace
Whene'er he carves a duck.
We then have learned to walk around
The dining room and pluck
From off the window-sills and walls
Our share of father's duck.
While father growls and blows and jaws
And swears the knife was full of flaws,
And mother laughs at him because
He couldn't carve a duck.
Ernest Vincent Wright (1873?–1939)
Ernest Wright was an American author. His most famous work was Gadsby, "A Story of Over 50,000 Words", which, except for the introduction and a note at the end, did not use the letter e. Every word was properly spelled and all narration was grammatically correct. His (non-lipogram) humorous poem, "When Father Carves the Duck," can be found in some of the older anthologies. (Source: Wikipedia.org
Taking a twist on the children's story, Twas the Night Before Christmas, we find out what happens later at night, after the Thanksgiving meal is finished and everyone is tucked into bed.
'Twas The Night of Thanksgiving
Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned--the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees.......
happy eating to all---pass the cranberries, please!
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